How on Earth “There is No Such Thing as Self-Sabotage”?!
Have you been fighting self-sabotage? I have. After many years of trying to strengthen my willpower, eradicate laziness from my life and finally adopt some good habits, I stumbled upon a completely new idea: there is no such thing as self-sabotage. How can this be true?!
But wait. Let’s start from the beginning:
What is self-sabotage?
Self-sabotage refers to behaviors that go directly against your goals. Instances of it are having a cigarette after deciding to quit smoking, saying something stupid at your job interview that immediately ruins your chances, spending a lot of time on your phone when you were supposed to be studying and so on.
Here are some other ways people typically self-sabotage:
How can self-sabotage not be a thing?!
We are all guilty of self-sabotage. It’s a sure thing that we all acted against our personal interests and long-term goals at some point. So how can it not exist?
What made me question it was the video below as well as some articles from therapists of different modalities who claim that self-sabotage is actually a defense mechanism.
According to them, we don’t practice it out of sheer laziness. We are trying to protect ourselves from pain. Here are some examples:
- You might be procrastinating on applying for a job because, deep inside, you are convinced that you have no chances of getting it, so why put yourself through the suffering of writing an application?
- Maybe you didn’t reply to the messages from a potential sugar daddy because you don’t really want to be a sugar baby.
- Chances are, you constantly underperform at your job because you hate it and subconsciously want to be fired — I don’t blame you, so many jobs are soul-crushing!
And the list goes on…
So how do you benefit from not pursuing your goals or keeping your promises? What are the possible downsides to them? Are these downsides even true?