Is it True that Men Prefer Women Who Treat Them Badly?
How many times have you heard that in order for a relationship to work, you need to be kind and understanding? And how many others, however, have you heard that men prefer women who treat them badly? Today we’re going to try to figure out once and for all who’s right and what we can do to improve our relationships.
“Men prefer bitches who treat them badly”
There are several books on seduction which describe various ways to make a man fall in love. One of them is “Men Prefer Bitches”, by Sherry Argov (best quotes here). This book describes men as individuals who are easily manipulated, who quickly get tired of stable relationships and run after the first woman who will give them any attention and treat him badly.
The approach of these books is undoubtedly sexist and disparaging towards the male sex. However, some techniques they offer work but for quite different reasons. This is why:
The problem with being too nice
Kindness is one of the most beautiful virtues that a human being can have because it shows great respect for other people. If you are kind, you seek to make others happy and not hurt their feelings.
However, being too kind could lead to unpleasant consequences. If you are too kind, you end up putting your own needs aside to make others happy. And if you try to become everything your partner wants, suppressing your true personality to please him, you end up losing your self-respect. And if you don’t have respect for yourself, your partner won’t either.
Is avoiding fights any good?
According to books like the one mentioned above, arguing in relationships is useless because men are often not keen on conversations. Rather, it suggests coming up with tricks to make your partner feel guilty and realize on his own what he is doing wrong.
Yet, couples therapists suggest that the best way to solve problems is to talk about them openly and seek a meeting of minds, a third solution through which the needs of both partners can be met.
If, on the other hand, you choose to ignore your partner’s bad behavior instead of talking things out because you don’t want to hurt his feelings or because you think it’s unnecessary, know that you’re laying the wrong foundation for your relationship. Discussing constructively doesn’t ruin the relationship; on the contrary, it helps it improve.
You get the love you think you deserve
No doubt there are men (but also women) who seek toxic relationships because past trauma led them to believe they don’t deserve better. In this case, the seduction techniques described in books like Argov’s can work well.
But that begs the question: is it worth it? Wouldn’t it be better to help this person go to a psychologist rather than encourage unhealthy attitudes? And if they refuse to get help, do you really want to have a person next to you who only seeks suffering in relationships?
What do men really want?
But let’s really look at what men want in a woman and what happens when women do everything to please them.
Men are attracted to honest women who know their worth and therefore know how to say no. They want a strong ally who will support them in moments of fragility. Not a person always in need of attention but a person who knows how to give as well as to receive. In short, an independent woman who knows what she wants and who can make herself respected.
Looking around us, we often have the impression that good guys only feel attraction for women who treat them badly. This is reinforced by the spread of books that paint men as spoiled children looking for toxic and manipulative partners.
In this article, we wanted to dispel this myth while still encouraging women not to fall into the temptation of being too compliant to make their partner happy but to state their needs clearly.
This way, they will not only have a more fulfilling relationship but their partner will also find them much more attractive.
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