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Are you Sapiosexual without knowing it?

What do you find the most attractive? The source of sexual attraction isn’t the same for everybody. For some, the physical appearance is decisive, for others, it is only the starting point. We are talking about more than body, skin and smell. The subject today is people who are attracted to ideas, culture, knowledge and intelligence. These people are said to be sapiosexual. Are you a sapiosexual too?

What makes someone sapiosexual

potentially sapiosexual girl writing in her journal


The term “sapiosexual” derives from the Latin “sapere” (“intelligence”, “wisdom”) and means “attraction to the intelligence/wisdom of others”. It is much more than liking someone who wears glasses. Moreover, it is not a sexual orientation, but a preference.

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This word was first used in 1998 by a user under the pseudonym of wolfieboy in a virtual community called Virtual Live Journal. In it, he wrote the following: “I want to find a person with an incisive, curious, attentive and irreverent mind. I want someone who considers philosophical discussions a form of preliminary”.

The expression has been since used more and more in websites and relationship applications. In some, there’s even the option of self-declaring sapiosexual.

Does sapiosexual apply to you too?

sapiosexual girl posing with book in bookshop

Are you a curious person who likes everything that can expand your horizons? Are you always looking for an opportunity to learn and grow? Would you like to have someone by your side whom you consider wise and from whom you can learn a lot? If you answered yes to most of these questions, maybe you really are a sapiosexual.

Are there times when you go out for coffee with someone, you don’t see time pass by or feel bored for even a minute? And even though you’ve talked about everything, you’re still left wanting for more? These are positive signs that you are attracted to the other person for their intelligence.

This means that you are interested in their cultural baggage, sympathy, sense of humor, empathy, understanding and way of expressing their feelings, which is to say, their intelligence in both the conventional and emotional sense. A sapiosexual has more interest in the substance than in the mere appearance.

Therefore, it is not always just a matter of formal education. A sugar daddy who has traveled the world and achieved a lot has much to offer. In addition to the knowledge he has acquired throughout his life, he has had a lot of time and experience with relationships and has probably developed skills such as keeping a cool head in stressful situations and has a lot to teach. In other words, he has the potential to arouse the interest of many sapiosexual women!

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Physical attraction alone is not enough

One thing doesn’t even need to be discussed: physical beauty is temporary, while the intellect develops continuously over time. Many people only discover that they are sapiosexual after the phase of physical attraction is over, leaving them bored.

And, honestly, if you want to spend years together with someone, isn’t it better if they are able to maintain the mystery and attraction through interesting conversations?

sapiosexual couple having coffee

Should I define myself as sapiosexual?

Nowadays, we are practically forced to label ourselves every time we register on different dating sites and apps. It may seem limiting on the one hand, but such labels also have advantages. They can save us from disastrous encounters with people who don’t match our profile at all. On the other hand, labelling may seem pretentious and drive away potential partners.

The good thing is that today there are hundreds of specialized dating sites, like MySugardaddy, where you can find someone with exactly the profile we are looking for. Sign up for free today!

By Daniele Zedda • 18 February

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By Daniele Zedda • 18 February

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