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The Sex Day and Sexuality

It started out as a joke, 06/09… 69… and suddenly it seems like many countries are indeed celebrating the Sex Day on this date. Naturally, we wish that all of you can celebrate this day at its full potential. That is why in this article, we invite you to join us on a trip and navigate the deeper waters of a topic that is simply the basis of good sex: human sexuality.

Human beings are sexual beings

Contrary to what many people think, being a sexual being is not about having a lot of sex. It is about being capable of having feelings, desires, perceptions, dispositions to fantasize, and physiological reactions that are sexually motivated. The way we experience and express ourselves as sexual beings are what we call sexuality. Thus, having sex is definitely a part of our sexuality, but only a small part, the tip of the iceberg.

But why should we care about understanding our sexuality?

If our sexuality is the translation of what we think and feel about sex, it means that in order to have a healthy and pleasant sexual life, we first need to know ourselves, our motivations, and our desires. And now comes the problem… Most of us do not really live our own sexuality. Instead, we reproduce patterns and behaviors that we learn from others, or worse, that we learn from the media. The outcomes of that cannot be good, and in fact, they are not, especially for women:

  • a survey conducted with American women in 2014 revealed that almost 40% of the respondents are neither happy nor unhappy, or are dissatisfied with their sexual lives
  • a comprehensive analysis of 33 studies over the past 80 years showed that only 15% of women consistently experience orgasm during intercourse
  • another research with college students identified that 50% of women have faked an orgasm at least once in their lives

But men are not far behind. One out of four men reported in this survey that they pretended to have an orgasm during sexual activity, and according to this other survey, 31% of men assumed to have some kind of sexual dysfunction. 

explore your sexuality in a bathub

What’s next?

By now, it might be clear to you why human sexuality should be one of our concerns. So now what? What can we do in practice to increase our understanding of sexuality, and ultimately, of sex?

Stop treating sexuality as a taboo

Understand, once for all, that sexuality is something intrinsic to human beings, and therefore, we should stop treating it as a taboo. If we want to embrace it and enjoy a more fulfilling sex life, it’s time to get out of our comfort zones. It’s time to put ourselves to think about our relationship with our bodies, our desires, and with sex.

Embark on a journey of self-discovery

There’s no way to feel pleasure with others if we don’t know what we like, what we don’t like, and what our options are. Invest in discovering yourself first! Give yourself pleasure, discover you, discover your body, because only then you’ll be able to give and receive pleasure from others.

Talk to your partner

People are different, so why do we expect that everybody has the same sexual preferences? We don’t!! And unless you and your partner talk about your tastes, there’s no way to know. Dialogue is key, so go for it! Otherwise, you’re doomed to have (I’m sorry to say) a mediocre sexual life forever.

And last, but not least…

STOP USING PORNOGRAPHY AS REFERENCE FOR ANYTHING! (yes, in capital letters)

Seriously, forget everything that you’ve ever learned from porn! What they portray is nothing but a medieval and limited sociosexual script. Here are some remarks:

  • Sex is not only penetration (after all, according to this study, just 18% of women are capable of reaching orgasm only with vaginal penetration). So do you and your partner a favor and do not limit the whole thing to this.
  • What we know as “foreplay” is already “real sex”, do not neglect it!
  • Your whole body can be a source of pleasure and not only your genitals. Why not start to use your hands, feet, ears, shoulders, elbows, etc. more? Simply be creative!
  • Also, did you know that the skin is the largest and most sensitive organ of our bodies? Yeah, it is… In that case, let’s use it!!
  • Finally, there’s no such thing as right or wrong when it comes to sex. As long as what you and your partner are doing is CONSENSUAL, than just keep on doing it!

Now it’s time to celebrate!!

We really hope that by now you feel inspired to look inside yourself and put in practice what your sexuality is telling you. That being said, we wish you all an excellent and successful 06/09!

redaktion

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By Daniele Zedda • 18 February

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By Daniele Zedda • 18 February

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