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Benching: are you dating a bencher?

Are you benching someone or being benched? Is the person you are into a bencher? Well, what is benching, after all? Let us explain it to you!

What is the definition of benching?

According to the Urban Dictionary, benching is “when you start dating someone you think is nice and who has potential, but you’re not crazy about them. You don’t know whether to keep dating them, or dump them and move on to the next one. This is where benching happens; instead of going for either of the above polarized options, you put your date in your mental ‘maybe’ folder and ‘bench them’ so you date around to see what else is out there.”

couple sharing a bench in San Francisco

In other words, benching is like putting a potential relationship “on hold”. You dated someone, but did not fall in love with them. So you leave them waiting on a bench while you browse for a better match. If you don’t find any, they are still there waiting for you.

How to recognize a “bencher”?

guy benching

A bencher is someone who is benching you. They are very lazy. They will drop a like here, favorite you there, leave short comments under your posts once in a while. However, they will not start a meaningful conversation with you. The reason why they are playing a minimal role in your social media life is because they want to stay relevant in it. This behavior is a lazy version of an already lazy behavior called breadcrumbing.

The worst thing about benching is that the bencher might never reach out to you. They are waiting for you to ask them out and will only take you up on your offer if they have nothing better to do. Do you really want to be someone else’s second or third option? Do yourself a favor and ditch the bencher! Oh, and don’t bench people either!