The Sugar Daddy Band
The Sugar Dadddy Band – New Kids on the Block
The sugar daddy band
I really think the music scene is ready for the emergence of the sugar daddy band. I’m tired of all the squeaky voiced little boy bands that drown out our airwaves. It is time for a new phenomenon – The Sugar Daddy Band. I truly do not understand why this hasn’t already been catered for on the X-Factor, that hotbed of talent spotting. The judges have all had experience. Some of them have even been sugar daddies.
Imagine the spectacular staging of a sugar daddy band performance. Beautiful woman, dressed in gold lycra, gyrating around these bad boys, rather like an opening credit from a James Bond film. Of course, I’m not 100% sure about the styling for the sugar daddy band itself. The suave, cool brat pack look could seem rather cliched, and sugar daddies come in all shapes and sizes. Maybe the sugar daddy band meme should reflect this? You could have Bejazzled Daddy, all Elton John rhinestones and Dame Edna glasses. Botox Daddy styled after Mr Paul McCartney or Scary Toupe Daddy and his close bro, Bad Hair Implant Daddy. I think my personal favourite would be Still Thinks He’s Hip Daddy, complete with baggy, low-slung trousers and ridiculously huge baseball cap, worn at a jaunty backwards angle. If his designer boxers are well and truly on display then so much the better.
The sugar daddy band performance
The more I think about it, the more I think the emergence of the sugar daddy band is a good idea. But I’m beginning to wonder if the X-Factor is the right platform for them to make their debut. There’d possibly be jealousy and backstabbing among the show’s own daddies, Simon and the short Irish one with his own dodgy hair implants. I could imagine some kind of legal battle between him and Bad Hair Daddy. Plus they don’t need Mr High Pants Cowell’s dosh to catapult them to stardom. The sugar daddy band trend can bankroll itself.
The more I think about it, the more I feel that a sugar daddy band needs a show dedicated solely to them and their genre. GeriXtrics maybe? Or dust off Top of the Pops? It could be a real showstopper. Sugar daddy bands from around the globe could appear to show off their talents. And I’m not sure it even matters if they can sing. That’s never been high on the agenda for the young and agile boy bands. Why should it stand in the way of a sugar daddy band? I mean autotune was created for a reason and not just the pretty things should benefit from. I believe a new era of music is about to begin, the age of the Sugar Daddy Band.